He deserves happiness, too
by peannatz
Summary: MOCKINGJAY SPOILER   This happens two years after Mockingjay. It's Gales POV. He sees her again...
1. Chapter 1

It's my first fanfic and Englisch is not my native language . So it might be... horrible or something. but feel free to review, cause then I can change something and then I'll know what to cange:)

This is Gales POV. Peeta never returned. Katniss lives alone in District 12. Gale lives and works in District 2 and Katniss' and Gales families live in district 4. Gales heart is broken when he meets a depressed Katniss.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the hunger games, Katniss, Peeta or Gale. Unfortunately... :)

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_Am I asleep?_ Probably not. But it doesn't matter. It's as always—I'm awaking, covered in sweat, my heart broken.

You can't really call it a nightmare, because it's reality. She's not here. She hates me and never wants to see me again. Ok, if you call it a nightmare, then my whole life is a nightmare. And it really is.

I thought life would get better when the war's over. I thought it can't get worse than it was with this cruel Capitol. But it is. Two years and it doesn't get better. My life is meaningless. It has lost its meaning two years ago, when I killed Prim and since then Katniss can't stand looking at me.

Every day is the same. I wake up in the middle of the night. Lie awake. Go to work. Sit in this stuffy room. Go home. Fall asleep.

I don't really know much about District 2. Neither do I care. I don't go in the woods. They remind me too much of Katniss. Everything reminds me of her. So I suffer every hour, every day. My mother tried to distract me, when she visited me. Without success.

She visited 2 weeks ago, asked me to come to Posys Birthday. They live in district 4 now. She said it's nice there and that she works in the hospital as a cook. She works with Katniss's mom. I'm glad she's happy now.

Today is Posys Birthday. I've bought her, her favorite sweets, Caramels with chocolate. The ones we never could've afford before. I have 1 hour left, until I'll fly to my family. So I sit on the chair before the window, like every time if I don't know what to do, and wait. I can't help it; and think of Katniss. _What is she doing? Is she happy? Will I ever see her again? Has she forgotten me? Is she with Peeta? _

My stomach turns uneasily when I think of her and Peeta together. _Has he won over her? Or is she still alone?_ Since the day in the capitol, I don't even look at the girls around me. They aren't Katniss. I could never love someone like I love her. She's the only one who owns my heart. I'm hers.

The usual questions buzz through my head_. Why hadn't they just hi-jacked me, like they did with Peeta? Why can't I just hate her, like Peeta did? Why can't I just be with her, like Peeta is?_

No, I could never hate my Catnip, even If someone would have hijacked me, twisted my mind and changed my memories. I could never hate her. I could never try to kill her, like he did.

I get up and go to meeting point, where I'll be picked up. The hovercraft already waiting for me, so I get in and sit down on a seat next to a redheaded girl. It's the only place left.

After the Capitol was destroyed, the hovercrafts became official connections between the districts. It's not really expensive, so that everyone can afford to visit the other districts.

The redheaded girl strums with her eyelashes. "Hi, I'm Glitz. What's your name?" I'm not in the mood for a chat, so I decide to ignore her.

"Heeey?" She waves her hand in front of my eyes. "I asked you about your name!"

"Gale." I groan. Some people turn their head toward me.

"Oh… I've seen you in TV. You were one of the rebels in the Capitol, with this Katniss-girl. What do you want in 4?" She babbles.

Something bothers me about, how she talks about Katniss.

"I visit my family." _Why can't she just shut up?_

"Me, too! How long will you be there?"

_Hooray .Please, just let me alone!_ "Two days."

"Oh… why not longer? We could meet somewhere. Maybe tomorrow in the square… Or somewhere else?"

"No." _Shut up._

"So tomorrow in the square… what time?"

"I said no. I don't want to meet you!" _Can't she see she's unnerving me?_

"Oh… Ok."

Then she starts talking about some people, which I don't even know.

And I just stop listening to her, thinking about my family. She still talks, as we get out of the hovercraft.

There's my family waiting - my mom with Posy in a pink dress, Vick and Rory.

And behind them I can see a girl in a green hoodie. You can barely see her face, but I recognize her.

It's Katniss.

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How was it? Did you like it? Please review.


	2. Chapter 2

ok... here is the second chapter. hope you like it :)

and please review...

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In my head screams everything – Glitz, still babbling beside me, Posy squeaking and giggling, my own thoughts. Everything.

My first reaction would be to run away. But I can't move.

I'm sure she'll disappear and break my heart again. Or I'm dreaming. That's it. She's not really her, it's just a dream. Or I'm dead. It's not real.

"Gale! Gale!" Posy runs into my open arms and I lift her on my shoulders.

"Hey, little birthday girl. Look what I've got for you" I take the bag of sweets and hand it to her.

"Thanks. Gale, look who –"

"Gale, that's my number. You can call me if you want to. Bye." Glitz gives me a piece of paper with her own name written in a beautiful handwriting and a long number. Then she turns around and disappears behind a corner.

"Who is that?" Posy looks in the direction Glitz has gone.

"I don't know." I crumple the note and put it in my pocket.

"Look who came to my birthday!" She points at Katniss and giggles. "She brought me the same candy, as you."

I go to my family and Katniss. I greet them then we start moving to the house of my family. The last time I was here, the Capitol bombed a hospital… and we were in a full scale rebellion.

We pass the new hospital. It's big and looks beautiful. But I don't really look at it. The only thing I see is Katniss. I'm afraid, that if I look away, she'll be gone.

My mother, Rory and Vick ask me questions. I respond to them automatically, not really thinking about it. Posy plays with my hair, twists it in her little hands. Katniss is going beside Rory, looking at her feet, but I can see she's looking at me out of the corner of her eye. I follow every single move she makes.

Her face looks as usual but she has dark rings under her eyes. Her hands are still a faint pink mosaic. The look of her skin hits me like a punch in my face. I want to scream. I know it's my fault that she looks like this. I know it's my fault that Prim's dead. And her skin is like a reminder that I've done this… that I'm not better than Snow.

We're at the house. It's much bigger than the house we lived in, in District 12. Everyone has his own room; now that I'm here I'll share a room with Rory. Katniss' mother lives in the next house, so Katniss will sleep there.

My mother prepares the meal and the siblings help her. I want, too, but she tells me to sit down again.

So I sit there across from Katniss and wait. We look at each other.

"How is District 12?" I say stiffly.

"Fine" She looks into my eyes.

Silence. How often I thought how it might be to see her again. I thought I would cling to her and never let go. But now I have to cling to the chair, so I don't fall from it. My head is foggy. Everything is spinning. I can't focus on something.

I want to hide from her accusing eyes.

_I made her like this. I made her like this. I made her like this. It's my fault._

"How is your job in District 2?"

"Fine" My voice doesn't sound at all like my own. To cold and to flat.

We're two strangers.

I stare at her. She looks so vulnerable. I just want to hug her tight but she wouldn't want that and when I'm back in District 2 it would hurt badly.

My family comes back and they set the table. Rory sits beside me.

We all eat the stew with mashed potatoes and soup. Then my mother disappears. She comes back with a big cake. It's pink and blue with red candles. It's beautiful. I watch at my mother, rising on eyebrow. She smiles back.

Katniss speaks with Vick about the cake. I talk with Rory, Posy and my mother about the recent news. Posy runs into her room and brings the sweets and some fruits. Suddenly Katniss stands up. "Can you wait? My mother should have been here by now… I think I go see where she is."

"Ok. We'll wait. Do you want to go alone? Someone could come with you…" My mother drifts off.

"Gale? Do you want to come with me?"

My mouth stands open. She wants me to come with her?

"Uhm…Y-Yeah." I mumble.

_What does she want? She hates me, doesn't she? _

We leave the house in silence. After a few meters she starts speaking.

"Gale, I need you. I know it's selfish, still…please" Her eyes are blank.

_What? Ok, this is the proof. I'm dead. My poor family…_

"You need _me_? Why? Isn't this your happy end? You and Peeta, without someone who disturbs you? You can't have him _and_ me, you know." _What is going on in her head? I would do everything to be with her, but I can't be around watching her and Peeta bill and coo._

"Hang on… Peeta and me? He isn't in District 12. I don't know where he is…" She's staring at something in the distance.

_It's not true. It isn't real._

"So, what do you need?" it sounds harsh, but I don't know how to react properly.

She focuses on me. "I need you to help me find Prim." Suddenly I can see the madness in her eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

I was half asleep writing this chapter ;) It was too late, so this chapter might be strange or something like that.

I think it is somehow weird that I have to write in the middle of the night... I can't write during the day :3 Or is everyone writing at midnight?

this is the third chapter... enjoy... review...thanks :)

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I cross the step between us and grab her wrists. My eyes locked on her face, trying to find the meaning behind her words.

_Maybe it's some kind of sick joke._

No, her eyes are too desperate and to genuine. So she means it.

Maybe just the loneliness made her mad - alone in District 12 without any distraction. She lost everything. Her family, Peeta, me and probably her sanity.

Had I not been working all day and would have just stayed at home all the time, maybe I would have already lost my mind, too.

I still hope she's joking. But as the seconds pass and she just stares into my eyes, I know she isn't.

"Will you help me?"

"Ok." I'll have to somehow explain it to her later. I need to think of a way to explain it to her.

"Oh, thank you." She hugs me tight and I don't want to let go of he, but then her mother crosses the street.

"Hey Gale. Hey Katniss."

"Hi Mrs. Everdeen." I nod in her direction.

We go back to my mothers; Katniss holds my hand tightly, clinging to it. Mrs. Everdeen apologizes to my mother for being late, because of a sudden birth.

We sit at the table again. The candles on the cake lighten.

Posy leans over the table and blows out all at once. This causes more giggling. The fact, that she's happier than I've ever seen her before, makes me smile, but also makes me sad.

I had never even visited them, so I was startled by the massive changes I saw today. They all look much healthier and happier and older. You can't see any outstanding bones. That's what I've hoped for-That they are happy and healthy and have enough food. But I haven't expected them to change so much.

I'm kind of happy, when I think about those changes, but Katniss words don't get out of my head.

_She wants to find Prim. She's gone mad. I made her like this. I will have to tell her the truth. She will hate me again. She will breake my heart again._

I've totally forgotten I'm still sitting at the table, so Rory makes me jump by just touching my shoulder. Everyone is watching me. I suppose someone asked me something.

"Have you ever thought about leaving District 2? I mean you could move to District 4, to us."My mother asks slow and clearly.

"It would be nice, but I want to stay in District 2 for now."

They all start talking about some new opened stores, except for Katniss and me. She looks at her plate, pokes around in the cake.

Suddenly her eyes meet mine and the sadness in them turns the cake in my mouth to tasteless mush and I have to drop my gaze.

I try to integrate myself into the conversation, but without success.

So I just sit there, watching at my hands, feeling Katniss eyes locked on me and trying to forget what she said about Prim.

Finally Katniss and her mother get up and say they have to go now.

My mother accompanies them to the door and locks it behind them.

"What is with you?" she asks when she comes back.

"I don't really know. Everything is too much, I think."

"Liar."

"Vick, Posy come on, we'll look if there is a show tonight." Rory knows something is wrong.

"Gale, come on!" Posy grabs my hand.

"I'll come in a moment, ok?"

They go into the room with the TV.

"So, what's really wrong?"

"Katniss. She's weird."

"Oh."

"Yes. She asked me to help her find Prim."

My mother looks at her hands. "She once phoned her mother and asked where Prim is."

"Can we help her?"

"I don't know. We'll see."

I hug here. "Gale, I've missed you, you know."

"I've missed you, too."

I help her dish washing and then we go to the siblings.

"Mom, the news is starting."

We watch the news which contains a little reportage about the biggest and most famous hospital in Panem. Katniss mother is shown, while she works. Some other doctors. Some patients. How it looked like before they new build it.

They show reportage about a new show on TV. After that the news is finished and the screen goes black.

I don't like TVs since they remind me of those rebellion propos. They remind me of another Katniss.

This night I dream of another life in another district with another Katniss.I wake up in the middle of night. Rory snores on the bed. - Actually I was supposed to sleep there, but after he had fallen asleep I lifted him on the bed and lay down on the mattress on the floor. I stand up and want to walk to the window to open it a bit when big grey eyes flutter open.

I fall to the ground and barely manage to suppress a scream, though, I know those eyes.

I've seen them hundred times before, but they never scared me like that. They never looked so alien. They never had this hint of madness in them. They never looked like the eyes of a predator.

"Katniss? What are you doing here?" I whisper.

As an answer she growls at me. And then she bites in my hand.


	4. Chapter 4

Fourth chapter :) It explains some weird things in the last chapter... hope you like it... please review

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Without thinking about it, I jerk my hand away; grab her hands and cross them in front of her, so that she can't move.

"Katniss, what are you _doing_?" I hiss at her, trying not to wake Rory.

She kicks around her, tries to free herself out of my grip, but I don't let go of her. I push her out of the room and close the door behind me, then I take her wrists in one hand and open the doorstep and push her outside. Her face looks pale in the moonlight, unhealthy.

"Ouch, you're crushing my hands!"

I look at them, so small in my own, they are turning blue. I let her hands go. She massages her palms and shakes them a little bit.

"Why did you do this?" I look at my own hand, it's bleeding and there are bite marks.

"What?"

"_What?_ You just bit me!" I show her my bleeding hand.

"I didn't! You should clean the wound…"

"You were just in my room, appearing out of nowhere and then you bit me! Don't say you didn't." I yell at her.

She turns around and goes.

"Wait! Tell me why you bit me!"

"I didn't" She says over her back and then she disappears into the darkness.

I go back into the house and start cleaning my wound at the sink in the kitchen. Suddenly the light goes on. I turn around, trying to focus on something in the too bright light.

"Oh Gale! What happened?" My mother comes and examines the wound. She looks at me and raises one eyebrow.

"Long and weird story." I wash my hands.

"Katniss?"

I turn my head to her and mimic her quizzical face.

"Intuition." She smiles at me. "So, what happened?"

"She suddenly appeared in my room and bit me." I smile at the thought of how strange this sounds.

"That's really weird." She gets a bandage and gives it to me. I combine my hand quickly, and then I go to the table and sit down beside my mother.

"Do you know what happened, since the war ended? I know there is something, but I just don't know what exactly." I look at her grave face.

"I don't know it, neither does her mother. Maybe the loneliness. I mean you've seen Haymitch…" She trails off.

Katniss reminds me of something, but I just don't know what… It's something about her behavior.

"Maybe she's addicted to drugs or alcohol." She says.

"I don't think so."

"We should go to sleep again, it's late."

I shrug.

"I think I'll stay some time in District 12. Maybe I'll find out what's wrong with her."

She smiles. "Maybe you can help her. – Good night." She gets in her room and closes the door behind her.

I think about my return to District 12 and almost bang into the door.

I lie down on the mattress and try to imagine how it looks like now in District 12. Is it still like after the bombing? Probably not. But I don't think it's like it was before… It can't be.

When I wake up my heads aching and everything is spinning. So I rise very slowly.

"What's wrong?" asks Rory.

I turn to him. I haven't noticed he's awake yet.

"Oh. It's just my head."

"What's with your hand? " I look at the bandage. It's blood red. My wound has been bleeding during the night.

"Just a little accident" I smile at him.

He shrugs and we go into the kitchen to make breakfast. My mother and Vick are already there and the breakfast is ready, so I go wake Posy.

When we come back my wound starts bleeding again and the blood drips from my hand.

"What have you done?" Posy looks at the little red drops.

"I accidently cut it." My voice sounds hollow.

We eat the remains of yesterday. I wash the dishes when everyone has finished. Then we go to the market in the square. The square is not very impressive. It's smaller than the one in 4 and it's not really beautiful.

Now the whole square is crowded with stalls. We go through the rows. Some stalls sell food and some sell clothes.

My mother buys three bags full of food. One is carried by Vick, the others are carried by Rory. I carry Posy on my shoulders.

"Oh, this scarf is beautiful, isn't it?" She points at a red scarf.

I smile. "Do you want it?"

"You don't have to buy it." She says, but you can hear she doesn't mean it.

I pull a few coins from my pocket.

"How can I help you? Asks the dark haired boy, behind the stall.

"I want to buy this red scarf" I point at the scarf.

She gives it to me and takes the money. I tie the scarf around Posy's neck.

"It's your second birthday present." I smile at her.

When we come back to the rest of my family Posy cradles from my shoulders and shows my mother her new scarf.

We're almost back at the house when I see her at the corner.

"I'll come a little later." I say to them and follow Katniss.

"Hi Gale."

"Why did you bit me?" I ask her angrily and show her my bloddy, bandaged hand.

"I didn't bite you."

"Just tell me; what's going on?" My voice is hoarse.

"Nothing. I don't know what you are talking about."

"Please" I grab her hands. "Please. You can talk with me, you know."

I look at her hands there is a rubber band around her right wrist. She pulls at it and it slaps back. Her pinkish masaic like skin is already red.

And then, suddenly, it's clear.

Think it through and it fits perfectly.

She bit me, she tries to distract herself with pain- her whole behavior. I've only seen something like this once before.

I watch her face, she's calm right now.

"You're hi-jacked." My voice breaks.


	5. Chapter 5

The fifth chapter :)

I was busy, so I hadn't much time to write... I can't sit around writing every night. Unfortunately. Hope you like it... Please review C:

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In her eyes I can see every kind of emotion - trepidation, confusion and protest. "I' m not!"

"Who did this to you?"

"No one. I'm not hijacked."

"What is with you?"

"Nothing" _Why is she so stubborn?_

"Something is wrong with you. I see it. I feel it. But I don't know what's it. You can tell me it." A flicker of exhaustion crosses her face. Her façade gets cracks.

"You won't understand it." Her voice full of sadness and frustration.

"I could try to understand it. If you would tell me it." I think of how we used to tell each other everything. That's far gone.

"I-I can't" A tear rolls down her face.

"Why?"

"I just can't"

"Ok. You'll tell me it another time. I'll come with you to 12." Her face lightens. The color comes back to her face and her cheeks flush.

"Really?" She asks shaky, like she isn't sure if it's a joke or not.

"Yeah."

She wraps her arms around my neck and whispers a "Thanks" in my ear.

We stand there for several minutes, embracing each other. It's so much like it was before this whole problems. It's like we're back in the woods, warming each other an a chilly day.

"I've missed you." My voice sounds like I'm choking on something.

She steps back and looks at my face. "I've missed you, too." Then her eyes focus on something far away and Goosebumps cover her arms.

"We should get going" I take her hand and we go to my mothers house.

I'm just about to touch the handle when the door opens, my mother standing in the door frame.

"Hey mom." I want to go in but she still blocks the door.

"Katniss, I have to talk to you. Alone." I look at her confused. She takes Katniss hand and pulls her in. When I want to follow them, Rory stands there, blocking the door. "Want to go for a walk with me?"

I'm not really in the mood, but something says me it isn't a question.

He comes to me and closes the door behind him.

"What's going on?" I'm sure he won't answer me.

"Mom wants to talk to Katniss" _Sure. _

"Lying isn't good." I smile at him weakly.

"You lied your whole life."

"If I didn't lie we would have starved." My voice getting ice cold.

We follow a path at the edge of the woods. How much I miss this feeling of being free. Free in the woods with the old Katniss.

A dark haired, pale girl walks by. "Hi, Rory."

He flushes and answers fluttery. "Hi, Sierra"

When she's out of earshot I decide to ask him about her. "Ah. Sierra,huh?"

He flushes again.

"Is she your girlfriend?"

"No, she barely knows me." His voice higher than usually.

"But you love her, right?"

"Uhm… maybe a little bit."

"Why don't you ask her out for a date?" Guiltiness turns my stomach over and over. I've missed so much in these last 2 years.

"I don't know if she even likes me and I don't know how to ask her"

"You should just ask her out for a dinner or something."

The wood gets thinner and ends abruptly at a cliff. I can hear the water splashing against the stone.

"Yeah. You need to know…" _Ouch. _

I don't answer. I don't want to talk about it anymore.

The wind gets stronger and I can smell the salt.

"Sorry."

That's the end of the conversation. We walk in silence at the edge of the cliff. It goes downhill to a beautiful beach. I actually never have been at a beach. The fine sand surprises me. I expected it to be rougher and harder.

We go to a wooden path and follow it back in the direction of the square.

Suddenly Rory stops.

"What is with her?" I know who he's talking about.

"I'm not sure. I think it's some kind of hijacking." My voice sounds like ice.

"Maybe she's just gone mad…"

"I'll see."

"You're going back to 12?"

I nod.

"Because of her?"

I shrug. „I miss District 12"

He smiles a little bit. " Me, too."

"I think we should go back."

He bites his lip. "No. Uhm… no."

He looks somehow panicked.

"What does mom want to keep from me?"

"N-Nothing. Why do you think she wants to keep something from you?" He asks a little bit too

innocently.

"You're not a good liar." I smile at him wryly. "We're going back _now"_

"Hmpf."

We go past the square and into the street where my mother lives.

I open the door and go into the living room where I can hear my mother speak.

She sits on a chair next to Katniss. But she isn't talking to Katniss, she's talking to the blond man in

front of her. The man, I never wanted to see again.

Peeta.

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Yay... Peeta came back... :|

Go Team Gale ! :3


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